I’ve decided to wean Scout off the breast. It’s been a challenging road for us since we discovered her egg, peanut and dairy allergies. I love breastfeeding. I’ve enjoyed the bond and have found breastfeeding in itself to be convenient and easy. In the past I’ve shared my good milk supply, having donated milk and some of the changes that were made to my diet to accommodate her allergies. I wasn’t ready to wean her earlier so and am happy that I did all I could to feed her for as long as possible. Of late, I’ve been feeling really hungry and the demands of my job, along with her becoming an active baby while reaching new milestones, has made it more challenging to prepare healthy, filling meals on a daily basis. On some days I feel a little frustrated that so much of my time is spent preparing meals that I’ve begun resenting some of it. I could have pushed through the frustration but my general health and well-being has suffered in the process and so I’ve decided that it’s time to start the breast weaning process.
I am sensitive to gluten. We discovered this about five years ago when I became really ill. I’d gone for ultrasounds to see what was causing chest pain, for tests to find answers for my aching joints and I suffered from extreme anxiety when we struggled to find answers for my poor health. I suffered these and other symptoms, such a stomach cramps, a bloated belly, muscle inflammation, acne flare up and a few others that contributed to me being unwell. Removing gluten from my diet cleared all of my symptoms and it helped me find a healthy way of eating to keep me full. I am a big eater and I struggle when I don’t eat bread as I then snack on foods that don’t satisfy me as much. Gluten-free bread is great but it contains egg and so I’ve had to remove it from my diet to stop the rash it was causing on Scout’s face. Since omitting egg and the bread from my diet, I’ve struggled with sugar and carb cravings and have slipped into bad habits where I eat biscuits, chocolate and bread that is egg free but contains gluten. I was okay for the first few months but have begun to notice more symptoms reappear that are related to gluten consumption for me.
My chest hurts, my joints ache, my muscles are tight, my stomach bloats and cramps on a regular basis and my emotional health is being compromised by the worry that comes with feeling ill. I am unable to exercise properly because of general pain in my body and that has also affected how I feel about myself. I’ve gained unnecessary weight and feel so sluggish on most days. All of this has been the deciding factors for weaning Scout; logically, it is the best decision but my heart has had to play catch up as we begin the process.
Scout has been dependent on my body for 18 months; I housed her for 38 weeks and have breastfed her for nine and a half months. I would gladly walk this entire journey again because I love having a daughter and try to do what’s best for her. Breastmilk is so good for one’s baby; if you are able to breastfeed, your baby is blessed with added benefits of a natural antibiotic from your breastmilk as well as healthy brain development. I breastfed exclusively for seven months and decided to supplement with formula when we could no longer use the expressed breastmilk for Scout. I’d donated over 30 bags of stored milk and I was then struggling to keep up a daily supply for cereal and feeding while I was at work. We decided that introducing formula during the day was the best decision for us and our dietician recommended Pepticate formula, which we still use today; It’s hypoallergenic and caters for Scout’s allergies. We also decided to introduce a late night formula feed to help Scout gain weight because she wasn’t progressing well enough along the weight line. She has, thankfully, gained a healthy amount of weight in the last four weeks and so we no longer need to take her to the pediatrician every second week, like we had for two months, to check her weight. Having found a formula that works for her has helped with the decision to wean her off the breast because we have an alternative feed for her. She takes the bottle from Wesley and others quite easily because, unlike me, they don’t smell like mommy hormones and breastmilk! When she’s really thirsty or tired I’m able to sneak in a bottle feed but on other occasions she digs her head into my chest, almost demanding that I leave the plastic and offer her the sweet moments of comfort that she’s used to with me. It’s difficult watching her cry for the breast and so I will need to toughen up and find other ways to comfort her.
I’ve decided to start dropping individual feeds. I used to express milk in the morning as I’d planned to give her one breastmilk bottle a day once I’d weaned her off the breast. My pediatrician said that any amount of breastmilk is good for her and so I wanted to continue to offer her a daily breastmilk feed. Initially, I’d planned to breastfeed for twelve months; we will make it close to that and I should, then have enough stored milk to offer her feeds until she is a year old. I’ve stopped expressing and have dropped one of the afternoon feeds at this stage. The plan is to eliminate the daytime feeds and then to drop the morning feed, keeping the nighttime feed as the last one to go. After her dinner, it’s when she needs the comfort the most as she’s had a long day without being close to her mommy.
I am happy with the decision I’ve made and have gotten so many messages of support and encouragement from other moms; we really are a wonderful tribe! And I want to thank each person who has taken the time to reach out and share their stories with me, too.
I will continue to write updates on the process and I hope that the story I share remains a positive one, where my little one continues to grow healthy and strong.
Until my next post, Bronny x
