Learning to enjoy my company again


Recently, I spent time with a friend who always adds positive energy to my life. I feel that those relationships are important because we all need a little external light from time to time.

In our conversation she mentioned how much she enjoys spending time with herself. I agreed because I recall spending hours, doing random things on my own and having the best day. I realised, however, that I last felt that way a really long time ago. I’d taken a few days to rest; I was on holiday at the time and recall feeling idly uncomfortable two hours into my day of doing nothing.

I was alarmed. I’d realised that I struggled with the silence of my company. If I wasn’t logged into Instagram or watching a YouTube video the sound of my voice was, uncomfortably, loud. I’d lost the joy of my own company.

Since, I’m consciously making decisions that allow for quiet time. My brain talks more than I do (and if you know me, personally, you will know that that’s an aweful lot!) and so I am finding ways to silence the anxiety and allow for peace.

In attempt, I’ve begun going out for walks and runs without my cellphone. I don’t have music to listen to, nor am I bothered by the latest notification which, honestly, can wait another 30 minutes. I’ve also started reading on paper again: magazines, novels and printed articles are a sure way for me to stay in the moment because there isn’t a ‘click here’ to side-track my initial search or interest. I take myself out for tea/ coffee dates and only use my phone to capture the pretty cup, then I put it away and observe those around me. The world is, truly, interesting once our eyes are lifted from a screen!

It’s only a start, but I can already feel a sense of calm at my disconnection. Hopefully, I will get to a place where I can sit and focus, only, on my immediate surroundings or company. Yes, connecting with the world around you is important but connecting with yourself, first, allows for you to stay connected to the company that matters the most: your own.


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